FrankHartzell.com

June 16-18: Sitting in the half-sized Eiffel Tower while overlooking the overstated but truly amazing Las Vegas, I realized there was once a place this wasteful, this ornate, this ridiculous, this fabulous.
The real Paris, under Louis XIV, the Sun King.
Mom and I were awed by Versailles, the Invalides, and how such splendor could be created in such a short time. He spent like there was no tomorrow.
But there was, as subsequent Louises found out while chasing their heads on the other side of a guillotine. Louis took the French empire, arts and imperial government to a place in the world never seen again, not even under Napoleon I. Vegas, though, has to be a bigger sin. I hate to call such fun by that particular pejorative, which is so often used by religious fanatics to condemn people for doing what they secretly wish they had the guts to do.

Sin? Not those disgusting people handing out cards of nude women, willing to come to your motel room for $25 and up. The cards are immediately thrown down by most people, resulting in an X-rated sidewalk along much of the Vegas Strip, fodder for any kid of any age.

I don’t refer to the Mafia, who built this town. A shrine to Bugsy Siegel among the flamingos and swans acknowledges his vision to create the world’s greatest resort out of a mirage in the desert. But it fails to mention organized crime and suggests unknown gunmen sadly murdered him.

Vegas, like the Paris of Louis XIV is a sin because nothing about it is sustainable and everything so wasteful. A bigger sin because we now know about global warming, pollution and the effects of conspicuous consumption. Vegas is surrounded by people suffering the worst foreclosure rate in American history, but you would never know it.

Like the French peasants, they make not a peep. The Vegas strip is in the midst of the biggest boom in its history. Those casinos built at the height of the real estate boom, like the gold-encrusted Trump, the full sized replica of the Great Pyramid and the $3.1 billion Wynn?

They are nothing compared to the “city within a city” being built in the middle of the strip and being sold everywhere. There will be more million-dollar condos than you can imagine built among casinos designed to make Donald Trump and Steve Wynn blush, if they don’t own it all. (which they probably do). Vegas on a Monday and Tuesday was so packed with people it was impossible to walk the strip without bumping and grinding. These buildings, like Imperial France, were worth seeing, if you could get to them.

We stayed at the Mirage, supposed to be the best of the older casino hotels and a steal at 79 bucks.
But we had to walk 400 yards, measured by my steps from the car, past at least 1000 slot machines, high roller rooms, poker tables etc to get to our room. And the staff were cold fish, or downright rude. I bought a $14 hamburger takeout and the total was actually 14.01. The straight-faced girl hassled us for the penny!
The fancy hotel had canceled its volcano fountain show for the week, preparing for the arrival of Jay Leon on Friday. But the staff knew nothing of this and required investigative reporting to find it out. This attraction was what I booked there for, which is of course the plan.
The room was perfect, the hamburger actually worth $14, a delicious mix of expensive cheeses, real fresh portabella mushrooms and first rate beef. Security was also very good. It reminded me of a place run by a military type boss, who dispirits the entire staff but demands perfection.

Our favorite was the Paris, which gave us world class service which reminded us both of the kind of service we got in the real Paris (despite all that BS that the French are rude that people told us beforehand.)
The soft spoken waiter overheard mom say she couldn’t eat the mouth melting pastry appetizer because of sprue and came to whisper to her that it was made from Tapioca and was fine for people with gluten allergies.
We were amazed at the conspicuous wealth of the beautiful people who seemed to have escaped from some TV fantasy of real life.

A line of several dozen women in micro, micro minis (mom thought they were bikinis and were lined up for the pool) were in line for the super hip and jarringly loud nightclub inside the Mirage.They admired about 10 cool guys and ignored 300 goofy guys in line. All of them presented a sound and physical barrier to us Hillbilly roomers.

This was red state America, but having ditched the angry fundys to holler at gays somewhere.
There were not too many gays visible in Vegas, other than a few prancing male couples. This was a town for straight couples, especially for men to show off their women.
Those angry fundys, who are such a joke before God in my eyes because they FAIL to address the real sin of our culture- greed, over consumption, worship of the rich, and corporate power rather than God… All of that is in all of us. But they chose to rail ONLY at gays and poor women getting abortions. The main pew sitters have no sin, by the standards of the Southern Baptists.
Dr. Dobson said the only two things in the last election of importance were gay marriage and abortion. He will stink to high heaven someday.
I don’t want to be a fundy myself and point at those dirty people over there in order to make myself seem wonderful.
I partook in Vegas. I overeat and I don’t think enough about what my dollar goes to support. I avoid Walmart, good start yes, but maybe the Mirage is no better for our nation’s future.
But I had to enjoy gawking at all this, the recreation of the sinking of the Titanic, the pirate ship fight outside the Treasure Island, the hubris of “reproducing” the Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building, Grand Canyon, Venice, Eiffel Tower, Great Pyramid, and the sinking of the Titanic on a couple of miles and mostly pulling it off.
The Grand Canyon reproduction is a flop from my view and the Gondola Captains look like they are working a long swimming pool at the Venetian, but the rest is really well done.
We never played any slots until the last day when we each took $5 at a tiny casino with a terrific and cheap breakfast. I won $5 on $1 at blackjack, then quit. Mom lost $3 and then won it back and quit.
But we did contribute to the tremendous waste of electricity and a scene that so effectively answers the question “why do they hate us?”
Of course, Vegas and Louis’ Paris were not the only examples in history. No figure is more appropriate than the giant Julius Caesar smirking in his toga while overlooking the modern orgy of Caesar’s Palace.
Something compels empires to transfer the good will and life savings of the people on gladiators, mistresses, or in our case to the giant corporations our red states worship in place of Christ.
So go to Vegas and see it so one day your grandchildren can take the tour of the ruins and shake their head and say -

“Why?”