FrankHartzell.com

After reading the various allegations reported by the liberal media, I feel obligated to respond. It is just this sort of reporting that drove me out of journalism, that and the need for food and shelter. It had been 28 dog years since I had last seen Frank when he came to my compound, I mean residence, under the guise of paying a visit. I had know idea he was going to poke around in my armory. Upon laying eyes upon Frank for the first time in four years I told him he was as handsome, thin and tall as I remembered. Okay, one out of three isn’t bad.

I had mapped out a number of potential activities for Frank and Betty (Frank’s angelic mother). Hey, anyone who has put up with Frank for that many years. Anyway, the activities list was hindered a bit by the fact that Frank and Betty had already visited Alamogordo. If you have never been to New Mexico (and the statistics presented by the New Mexico Department of Tourism suggest you haven’t) there are many beautiful things to see–none of which are located in Alamogordo.

Most of our first hour was spent explaining why we have seven cars, four of which run. I’ve honestly tried to sell off the three non-working vehicle, but since the economy has taken a down turn the market for such vehicles has gone south and I can’t see taking a loss, when the market is sure to rebound in seven to ten years. In the mean time I am renting them out as mini-storage units.

After a delicious barbecue dinner, we spent our final hour or so outside the Space History Museum, which is located at the foot of the Sacramento Mountains, overlooking the lights of Alamogordo. Like nearly everything else in Alamogordo, the museum closes at 5 p.m. due to a ten year government study released in 1952 that determined 90 percent of all monsters come out after dark. Despite the museum being closed, by looking at the building from the outside we were able to get some idea of what might be inside. We spent our time outside the building talking amongst the various rockets ceremoniously pointed toward the night sky. This area is officially called Rocket Pathway, but is more commonly known as Phallic Park. A radical feminist group (the Daughters of the American Revolution) unsuccessfully attempted to have the park closed some years back.

Like Frank I would like to close my post with a poem, but I will keep my promise to the English Department at New Mexico State University. We would just like to close by saying it was great to see Frank and we’re sure in another four years we’ll be ready to see him again. Betty, you’re welcome anytime.